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The 10 Ultimate Chad Moments on The Bachelorette
- Updated: June 21, 2016
I feel like it’s important that I make a disclaimer before getting into this list of the top 10 ultimante Chad moments from his run on the Bachelorette. That disclaimer is that it was very hard to get this list down to 10 moments—Chad was entertainment the likes of which the Bachelorette franchise has rarely, if ever seen. Had he acted on any of his numerous threats–and if he goes to Jordan’s house after the show he still may, well, we may have witnessed what could have been one of the all time reality TV fantasy scoring greats.
Watching chad's psycho rampage like… pic.twitter.com/hIg9E9rRNE
— sam daniels (@samdaniels_) June 8, 2016
Before I get to the top 10, here is a very quick list of things Chad has said and done that were not quite good enough to make the big list. The body of work on this secondary list would likely be enough to propel an ordinary contestant to Hall of Fame status—but Chad is no ordinary contestant. These are essentially the scraps of meat Chad left on the plate after a long, carnivorous night in the mansion.
- Comparing the other guys in the house to the ingredients of a protein shake
- Defiantly telling Chris Harrison there was no way he could have snuck steroids into the mansion
- Saying that if he couldn’t lift weights, he’d murder someone
- Referring to the other contestants as a “parade of losers”
- Calling Jo Jo Fletcher “naggy” on their first ever date
- Saying he didn’t watch the Bachelor because he works
- Inviting person after person to “go outside”
- Bristling when being compared to Hitler by his only semi-friend in the house
- Being real
#10—Making Evan (the erectile dysfunction expert) flinch
This was the end of a sprawling incident that really helped establish Chad as crazy and volatile—and much more than the huge asshole we thought he was in the preseason. Has to be one of the best flinch moments caught on TV.
#9—Saying He Would “Take Alex’s Teeth”
Chad’s go-to move was threatening physical violence from very early on in the show, and Alex was a special thorn in his side from the get-go. Whereas Chad’s threats were usually general, when dealing with Alex he seemed to have one primary goal: to teach him that having teeth was not a right—it was a privilege.
#8—Comparing getting confronted by the other guys to being surrounded by the Care Bears
After he had questioned their manhood and asked if any of them had actually even been in a relationship or talked to a woman as beautiful as Jo Jo, some of the other guys on the show got a little testy with Chad, as a team of course. Obviously, none of them had the balls to challenge him mano a mano or take him up on going outside. Chad of course ate during the entire confrontation and the whole interaction was about what you’d expect if a gang of adorable stuffed bears surrounded a steroid crazed carnivore and shook their angry little plush fists at him. Apparently, Chad saw it that way too, “It was like if the Care Bears surrounded you and told you they were going to kick your ass.”
#7—Consuming Massive Amounts of Meat
He ate steak in the mornings, filled multiple plates with cold cuts during the cocktail parties, and actually ate during the rose ceremony—another Bachelorette first as far as I know. At the end of it all, we failed to learn if it was possible to win a woman’s heart while taking in 15,000 calories a day. Hopefully they’ll keep the buffet stocked with meat for the Bachelor in Paradise and we’ll find out a little more.
#6—Asking if Jo Jo “knows a better way” than violence to deal with people you don’t like
After Alex spilled his guts to Jo Jo about Chad’s crazy behavior—specifically threatening Jordan earlier that day—Jo Jo had no choice but to ask the juicehead if he had threatened anyone with violence. At first he dodged it by proudly telling her he “hadn’t touched anyone” since they last talked and I guess she told him not to. Never mind the fact that most people don’t touch anyone even without being told; it simply wasn’t the question Jo Jo had asked.
Like a true “gotcha” journalist, Jo Jo keeps at it and doesn’t let Chad off the hook. She asks him again specifically if he threatened Jordan with violence that very morning. He says that what she’s asking was not “100% false”—meaning it was at least 1% correct—which was as close to taking ownership of something that we saw Chad take all season.
He pointedly asks her if she knows a better way to deal with someone who is bothering you than what he has been doing (i.e., threatening them with physical violence). Jo Jo, clearly lacking creativity and initiative, tells him you are supposed to sit down and have a conversation with people, to which Chad responds, “I’ve tried. I’ve tried.”
Chad didn’t start showing off his musical talent until the 3rd episode of the season, which was way too long to make the public wait.
Chad had been told in no uncertain terms to stop being violent with the other guys in the house. Stifled by these new, unfamiliar rules, he found it harder and harder to get time with Jo Jo using the oaf-like methods he had grown accustomed to. Playing the “wait until your turn” game was very frustrating to a guy who would have certainly clubbed Jo Jo over the head and dragged her back to his cave the second he saw her if it had been socially acceptable to do so.
When Chad tried to cut in on Nick B.’s time with Jo Jo, she told him to wait since the two of them had only just sat down together. Chad did wait, but being told to be patient while another man who spent an entire cocktail party dressed as Santa Claus just 2 weeks ago talks to your rightful property made something snap in his pea-sized brain. In my opinion he was never the same after this incident.
Chad went and sat right around the corner—really only a few feet away—just barely out of their sight. Once there, he made a point of stomping his feet and generally making a racket to ensure they wouldn’t forget he was there. After a few seconds of Nick B. staying put instead of scattering like a frightened gazelle, Chad began to whistle a little tune. And not a fun, uplifting Happy Birthday whistle, either.
No, it was more the type of whistle you make when you’re hiding in someone’s dark house waiting for them and they think they’re all alone and completely safe, but you want them to suddenly realize they are in terrible danger and be terrified for a minute or two before you ultimately murder them. It was that kind of whistling. It’s the type of whistling you usually only hear once in your life, and it almost certainly sent chills down Jo Jo and Nick B.’s spines.
Chad brought the whistle back after he found out Alex had talked about him with Jo Jo on his part of their 2 on 1 date. Having threatened to “take Alex’s teeth” if this happened (see #9), he strolled out of the woods and into the clearing on the rocks where Alex was sitting by himself, whistling all the way down. Did the cameras save Alex’s life in this instance? In all likelihood, yes.
As Chad staggered through the woods a couple hours later, he continued to whistle, adding to a resume of crazy that was already reaching Charlie Sheen levels.
— Shannon Griffin (@shanng19) June 8, 2016
#4—Kicking an Inflatable Pink Flamingo
There was plenty of bullying by Chad this season. Some guys rolled with it and did not seem intimidated in the slightest, whereas others were clearly terrified by the half man/half abomination that had been planted in their midst. Probably the biggest victim of his rage was an innocent blow-up pink flamingo who had never done anything to deserve the kind of abuse Chad dished up.
#3—Having to be Supervised by a Security Guard
For a show that used to go take extended jaunts to Paris and now takes their romantic treks to somewhere kind of near Pittsburgh, it can be inferred that the producers were not thrilled to have to shell out $14 an hour to hire some muscle to keep Chad under wraps. But once Chad forced them to pay take action, they had to bring in the big guns—and by that I mean a guy wearing an ear piece, shorts, and a shirt that said “SECURITY” on the back.
#2—Expressing His Desire to Fill the Swimming Pool with Human Torsos
When Chris Harrison admonished Chad for his aggressive behavior and instructed him to “make it right” with the other contestants, it wasn’t clear immediately how Chad would really feel about it. The water became a little less muddy, however, once Chad let us know what he would do with the other guys in the house—if he were allowed to just do his own thing for a few minutes.
#1—Delivering an All-Time Great TV Monologue to Jordan Rodgers, Detailing What He Planned to Do After the Show’s Conclusion
This one almost needs no description. This is what all of us who have ever watched reality TV have wondered about: is this really a show that will end when the cameras start rolling… or is there the potential for an untelevised sequel?
Our episode 5 recap will be coming tomorrow, but if you need help remembering how Jo Jo’s hunt for love has unfolded so far, check out our previous Bachelorette episode recaps: