It’s Labor Day Weekend, which means many of you across the country will be basking in the joys of a long weekend to end the summer. It also means that meaningful regular season football is right around the corner and I for one could not be more excited. Many of you are also likely participating in offline drafts this weekend with friends or family which is also very exciting. There’s nothing like getting together while throwing back beers and talking smack. However, not every league has the perfect cast, as there always seems to be that one guy in the league who drives everyone crazy.
So without further ado, here are your top 10 worst/most annoying fantasy players in your league:
1. Member who drafts and does not touch his roster for the rest of the season
This one is the most infuriating (at least to me personally). Generally when you throw a fantasy league together, it’s with a group of your collective friends who are all fairly competitive and want to beat the shit out of each other (mostly metaphorically, but sometimes in actuality). When someone just completely neglects the league post draft, it’s a slap in the face to those involved because you basically say, “I don’t care enough about you all to put in 20 minutes a week at the minimum to set a lineup and look at the waiver wire.” What happens is that team usually ends up sucking and wins little to no games, and when that team does win it sends that other losing player off your nearest local highway bridge. It also screws up the standings when a late-season W against that invisible team could impact the playoff picture. Don’t be a dick, if you commit to a league, actually participate. End rant.
2. “I’m busy then” guy
For me personally, live in-person drafts are the best. It’s way more fun to have everyone involved in one spot than staring at your computer screen watching pick by pick go by. Trying to set up a live draft is hard enough, especially when there’s that one guy who basically claims to be busy 24/7. “Oh sorry I can’t do that day, it’s my brother’s roommate’s dog’s graduation from Doggy Daycare.” Or, “I can’t this night, my mom gets mad at me if I’m not in bed before 8:00.” You know the drill. Getting all league members in one place at the same time is nearly impossible. You have better odds of winning Powerball.
3. Member who takes your free league WAY too seriously
Fantasy football is supposed to be fun. You have the right to get mad when your opponent’s last player puts up a 30 spot on MNF to come back and beat you. You also have the right to be mad when your first overall pick blows his ACL in Week 1 of the regular season. But there are certain lines you don’t cross in fantasy football. If it’s a high stakes league, you have a lot more skin in the game and things are more acceptable. When it’s a free league, relax. I have one free league with a bunch of people from my neighborhood back home. Ages range from 15 all the way to 60 so it’s not the most hardcore league. Everyone has a good time and stays involved which is what the league is meant to be about. However, when there’s that one guy that writes a three page essay calling out the commissioner and his integrity after a rookie GM mistakenly drops a player who tore his ACL and is allowed to pick him back up in a keeper league, it’s time for said guy to go.
4. The Video Game Trader
Newsflash, this is real life. I know, shocking. You can’t send me Michael Floyd, Shane Vereen and DeSean Jackson and expect to receive Julio Jones back. I’m not a Madden bot despite what you might think. They always come back with “well what if I include this guy instead?” Where said guy is usually just as bad, if not worse. The trades keep coming in waves, and they are continuously one sided not in your favor. I once experienced a guy so bad, there were multiple members messaging him to knock it off (to put it lightly).
5. Most points against guy
Hear that? Choo-choo, it’s the Excuse Train coming through! (that was a sick rhyme, nbd). This is the guy that ALWAYS brings up the fact that despite his shitty record, nobody is even close to having the points against that this guy has. He’s so goddamn unlucky and if he had played a “normal” schedule he’d probably be dominating the league right now. Hey bud guess what? I don’t care. Maybe play some defense for me one time, or try and score some more points.
6. League Settings Guy
He’s not the commissioner of your league, but by reading all of the league messages you would assume he either wants to be or soon will be after murdering the current commish. Whether it’s 4 vs 6 points for passing touchdowns, PPR vs non-PPR, keepers vs non-keepers, -2 for a FG miss from 42 yards, or whatever other possible discussion you could have, you best believe this guy is voicing his opinion.
7. My other team…
There should be a rule that whenever you are talking fantasy football with somebody else you only refer to the league that both of you participate in. Don’t share a league with that individual? Pick your most important league and ignore the others. Nothing more infuriating than hearing “dude you’re 2-9, your team blows.” Then he responds with,”yeah but my other team has Gronk, Antonio Brown, Cam Newton and I’m in first place.” Am I involved in this other league that sounds like a complete joke based on the unrealistic roster you have provided? No? DON’T CARE.
8. Guy who takes forever to pay
Everyone in the league has paid their dues. The commissioner’s Venmo account is shooting through the roof, yet there’s that one little snake who will hold out for as physically long as they possibly can. “Oh don’t worry, I’ll get it to you soon!” Or, “damnit, I forgot to bring my money,” are the most typical ones. The silent ones can be even worse. “Maybe if I don’t say anything and just neglect it, the commish will forget and I’ll get to play for free!” Guess what, nobody forgets. The North Remembers. Pay up at the draft.
9. “Remember when” guy
A common misdirection by some fantasy owners, the “remember when” is a quick way to divert any current embarrassment by taking a trip down memory lane. “Hey bud, wow I just kicked your ass by 50 points, how about that?” Then he says,”oh yeah? Well remember when I beat you twice back in 2004?” I’m sorry, what year are we in? 2004? Nope, last time I checked that was well, a really long fucking time ago.We’re living in the present, not the past. So instead of pulling a Marty McFly and going back in time to get the upper hand, just take it like a man.
10. *Player’s Name*’s Team
This one should be relatively easy to avoid but there are still those out there that don’t change their default team names. There’s really no huge problem with it, in all honesty it’s just annoying. Make it something funny, prank another league member with something, I don’t care what it is as long as it’s not the default Yahoo/ESPN name given to you. Show some effort. Be less boring, you can’t.
Bonus Addition:
11. Whoever drafts Tom Brady away from me
Guess what buddy, there’s a special place in hell for you. It also just so happens that I bought you a one way ticket there. Don’t mess with me. Enjoy Satan!
Have any other experiences that we missed? Comment below or let us know on Social Media!
