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Wolf's Big Board:     Tuesday, May 30, 2017     Tier One - The Big Three   1 ) David Johnson (ARI) RB1   2 ) Le'Veon Bell (PIT) RB2   3 ) Ezekiel Elliott (DAL) RB3   Tier Two - High-end WR1 and RB1s   4 ) Antonio Brown (PIT) WR1   5 ) Julio Jones (ATL) WR2   6 ) Mike Evans (TB) WR3   7 ) Odell Beckham JR. (NYG) WR4   8 ) DeMarco Murray (TEN) RB4   9 ) Melvin Gordon (LAC) RB5   10 ) LeSean McCoy (BUF) RB6   11 ) Jay Ajayi (MIA) RB7   12 ) AJ Green (CIN) WR5   13 ) Jordy Nelson (GB) WR6   14 ) Michael Thomas (NO) WR7   15 ) Dez Bryant (DAL) WR8   16 ) Devonta Freeman (ATL) RB8   Tier 3 - Lower-end RB1 and WR1s, elite second options   17 ) Lamar Miller (HOU) RB9   18 ) DeAndre Hopkins (HOU) WR9   19 ) TY Hilton (IND) WR10   20 ) Leonard Fournette (JAX) RB10   21 ) Rob Gronkowski (NE) TE1   22 ) Brandin Cooks (NE) WR11   23 ) Demaryius Thomas. (DEN) WR12   24 ) Jordan Reed (WAS) TE2   25 ) Doug Baldwin (SEA) WR13   26 ) Amari Cooper (OAK) WR14   Tier 3.5   27 ) Todd Gurley (LAR) RB11   28 ) Carlos Hyde (SF) RB12   29 ) Christian McCaffrey (CAR) RB13   30 ) Jordan Howard (CHI) RB14   31 ) Marshawn Lynch (OAK) RB15   32 ) Davante Adams (GB) WR15   33 ) Alshon Jeffery (PHI) WR16   34 ) Isaiah Crowell (CLE) RB16   35 ) Tyreek Hill (KC) WR17   36 ) Keenan Allen (LAC) WR18   37 ) Spencer Ware (KC) RB17   Tier 4 - Elite QBs, Solid #2 RBs + WRs, side TE1s   38 ) Bilal Powell (NYJ) RB18   39 ) Tom Brady (NE) QB1   40 ) Sammy Watkins WR19   41 ) Aaron Rodgers (GB) QB2   42 ) Travis Kielce (KC) TE3   43 ) Terrelle Pryor (WAS) WR20   44 ) Allen Robinson (JAC) WR21   44 ) Mike Gillislee (NE) RB19   45 ) Mark Ingram (NO) RB20   46 ) Golden Tate (DET) WR22   47 ) Jamison Crowder (WAS) WR23   48 ) Greg Olsen (CAR) TE4   48 ) Tevin Coleman (ATL) RB21   49 ) Willie Snead (NO) WR24   50 ) Doug Martin (TB) RB22   51 ) Michael Crabtree (OAK) WR25   52 ) Brandon Marshal (NYG) WR26   53 ) Julian Edelman (NE) WR27   54 ) Donte Moncrief (IND) WR28   55 ) Drew Brees (NO) QB3   56 ) Ameer Abdullah (DET) RB23   57 ) Jimmy Graham (SEA) TE5   58 ) Tyler Eifert (CIN) TE6   59 ) Martavis Bryant (PIT) WR29   Tier 5 - Last Startable WRs and RBs + TE1 Candidates   60 ) Pierre Garcon (SF) WR30   61 ) Eric Decker (NYJ) WR31   62 ) Jarvis Landry (MIA) WR32   63 ) Larry Fitzgerald (ARI) WR33   64 ) Samaje Perine (WAS) RB24   65 ) Joe Mixon (CIN) RB25   66 ) CJ Anderson (DEN) RB26   67 ) Matt Ryan (ATL) QB4   68 ) Stefon Diggs (MIN) WR33   69 ) Emmanuel Sanders (DEN) WR34   70 ) Ty Montgomery (GB) RB27   71 ) Hunter Henry (LAC) TE7   72 ) Corey Davis (TEN) WR35   73 ) Adrian Peterson (NO) RB28   74 ) Kelvin Benjamin (CAR) WR36   75 ) Delanie Walker TE8   76 ) Paul Perkins (NYG) RB29   77 ) CJ Prosise (SEA) RB30   78 ) Eddie Lacy (SEA) RB31   79 ) Dalvin Cook (MIN) RB32   80 ) Theo Riddick (DET) RB33   81 ) Frank Gore (IND) RB34   82 ) Cameron Meredith (CHI) WR38   83 ) Mike Wallace (BAL) WR39   84 ) DeSean Jackson (TB) WR40   85 ) Martellus Bennett (GB) TE9   TIer 7 - side QB1s and Top WR and RB Lottery Tickets   86 ) Andrew Luck (IND) QB5   87 ) Derek Carr (OAK) QB6   88 ) Kirk Cousins (WAS) QB7   89 ) Marcus Mariota (TEN) QB8   90 ) Philip Rivers (LAC) QB9   91 ) Ben Roethlisberger QB10   92 ) Dak Prescott (DAL) QB11   93 ) Jameis Winston (TB) QB12   94 ) Joe Williams (SF) RB35   95 ) Derrick Henry (TEN) RB36   96 ) Kareem Hunt (KC) RB37   97 ) Jamaal Williams (GB) RB38   98 ) Davante Parker (MIA) WR41   99 ) Josh Doctson (WAS) WR42   100 ) Ted Ginn (NO) WR43  
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The Rotos 2016: Fantasy Football Bust of the Year

The Nobel Prize. Academy Awards. Pulitzers, ESPYs, and Golden Globes. While prestigious in their own rights, these honors pale in comparison to The Rotos.  In our first ever Rotos Award Show, the distinguished “Big Dick” prizes will be awarded to players with the most glorious performances in 2016, while the dreaded “Tiny Puds” will disgrace the season’s most dubious players. Grab the popcorn, place your bets, and settle in for a week of recapping the highs and lows from a wild fantasy season.

Previous awards:

Fantasy Football Bust of the Year

Every year, fantasy football busts are inevitable.  A bust is when a player fails to live up to their draft day cost by, quite simply, sucking.  The Bust of the Year, however, is elevated even further.  These are the guys who you sawed off arms and legs for, and who returned nothing but a plodding carry or an overthrown ball.  Winning a title with these shit bum anchors pulling your team down was near impossible, especially considering the opportunity cost, and so we vengefully award the Tiniest Pud trophy to one of the following:

2016 Nominees 

Cam Newton, Quarterback, Carolina Panthers:  Let’s preface this by reminding you that if you draft a QB before Round 6, we hate you.  Still, countless owners took the late second, early third plunge on Cam — he’s an elite running back in addition to a solid QB after all! Only he wasn’t. Newton was softer than a pillow case full of baby poo in 2016,  refusing to use his most valuable fantasy asset: his legs.  His rushing output dropped from 636 yards and 10 TDs to just 359 yards and 5 TDs.  Additionally, Newton regressed mightily as a passer, connecting on far fewer deep balls and ultimately dropping from 35 TDs to a pathetic 19, despite the return of his “monster WR1” in Kelvin Benjamin.  The much-maligned Blake Bortles, consistently useless Joe Flacco, and, most shocking of all, Sam “Pop-Gun” Bradford all slung more TDs.  At a position where streaming points are always available, burning a third rounder on Cam was an opportunity cost that ruined countless seasons.

DeAndre Hopkins, Wide Receiver, Houston Texans:  After a dominant 2015 in which Hopkins was welcomed into the fantasy elite, his pitiful 2016 was a steel-toed kick to the balls.  Despite common belief that Brock Osweiler would help his game reach new heights, Hopkins regressed mightily in all categories: 78 catches, 954 yards, and 4 TDs, down from 111 catches – 1,521 yards – 11 TDs the year prior despite “escaping” the Carousel of Crap Quarterbacks. Infuriatingly, Hopkins continued making his circus reel toe tapping, finger tip reeling grabs, but only about three for 50 yards a game.  He was simply sucked into the gaping black Oswelierian hole, and dragged fantasy hopes and dreams with him.  After being selected as the 5th overall player and WR4, his 37th positional rank was undoubtedly season-ruining.

Allen Robinson, Wide Receiver, Jacksonville Jaguars:  Following his massive sophomore breakout (80 catches, 1,400 yards, 14 TDs), Robinson was widely drafted as a top-five WR and within the top-15 picks of drafts.  Surely, these woeful investors were expecting more than a paltry 68 catches, 883 yards, and 6 TDs (maybe half of expectations).  Particularly frustrating, the volume for consistency was there: 8th most targets in the league.  But any owner who saw pass after pass sail over his head, or repeated misfires on jump balls, knows Robinson hauled in less than half of these attempts. Ultimately, this floundering effort yielded the 31st most fantasy points on the year — the ballyhooed Pierre Garcon and his #172 overall price tag would’ve netted more points. Unless you drafted quality depth and hopped off the Robinson train early enough, Robinson was a mistake that was near-impossible to bounce back from.

Todd Gurley, Running Back, St. Louis Rams:  After tearing up the field and looking like the next big thing at running back in his rookie year, Gurley was consistently drafted as the #1 RB in  fantasy drafts (ADP= RB1, 4th Overall). He generously rewarded investors with a meager 885 rushing yards and 6 TDs (down from 1,106 and 10 TDs in three less games in 2015); this was even more painful if you ignored our advice and passed on David Johnson’s 2118 total yards and 20 TDs.  Week after week owners waited for that “Gurley explosion,” but it never came and owners suffered through consistent inefficiency and shittiness: Gurley carried the ball the 6th most times in the league, but only generated the 16th most rushing yards thanks to an abysmal 3.2 yards a clip—good for 39th in the league. Even against a historically bad San Francisco run defense (165 yards allowed a game), when you thought you could finally trust him, this fat bust floundered,  averaging 20 carries for 57 yards and no TDs.  Huge heaves, lots of puke, no fantasy points.

Note: Vikings RB Adrian Peterson and Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski were considered given their lofty price and early season exits, but both were disqualified due to injuries.  Indeed, this was a major risk associated with both when drafting, but at least these two didn’t continue rotting in starting lineups and losing owners weeks like the above four.

And the Tiny Pud award goes to…

Amidst a deep pool of shit, no one failed to meet expectations quite like Todd Gurley. 

Acceptance Speech

(Shakes head in disbelief as he approaches the stage. Grabs Tiny Pud Award and pumps it into the air.  His initial words come out choked, as if getting stuffed behind the line yet again, before finally Gurley spits out…)

“Wow, after such a beast rookie year and finally a fully healthy offseason, I could never have imagined I’d be standing here today. There’s so many people to thank, where to begin?

I gotta give it up first to Case Keenum and Jared Goff — man, you guys are just so damn pathetic at moving the ball. I mean, why would a defense do anything but put everybody in the box with one of you two tossing the rock? I can’t even remember the last time we actually sustained a drive past three downs, never mind got into the red zone.  If you were even half competent, I could’ve easily scored double digit TDs and never even been nominated for this honor; I really can’t tell you how much your inability to throw a ball means to me.

And that line — man, you guys couldn’t open up a Craigslist hooker with a million dollars! With no space to run, you all really helped me average that horrendous 3.2 yards per carry. Can’t forget my offensive coordinator — “middle school offense” I believe is what I called it.  You made sure every game remained the same — boring and awful.

Man, there’s so many I’m forgetting. But this was really a group effort to take such a promising rookie year and follow it up with a just puke-worthy campaign. Couldn’t of done it without you all.”

Way-too-early-2017 winner:  Following an unpredictable rookie campaign, Jordan Howard experiences a sophomore slump of his own.


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