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Week 2 Rankings:         Top-20 Quarterbacks   1 ) Tom Brady (NE)   2 ) Aaron Rodgers (GB)   3 ) Matt Ryan (ATL)   4 ) Drew Brees (NO)   5 ) Derek Carr (OAK)   6 ) Jameis Winston (TB)   7 ) Marcus Mariota (TEN)   8 ) Cam Newton (CAR)   9 ) Philip Rivers (LAC)   10 ) Matthew Stafford (DET)   11 ) Russell Wilson (SEA)   12 ) Ben Roethlisberger (PIT)   13 ) Kirk Cousins (WAS)   14 ) Tyrod Taylor (BUF)   15 ) Alex Smith (KC)   16 ) Carson Wentz (DAL)   17 ) Dak Prescott (DAL)   18 ) Jay Cutler (MIA)   19 ) Carson Palmer (ARI)   20 ) Joe Flacco (BAL)   Top-40 Running Backs   1 ) Le'Veon Bell (PIT)   2 ) LeSean McCoy (BUF)   3 ) Ezekiel Elliott (DAL)   4 ) Kareem Hunt (KC)   5 ) Melvin Gordon (LAC)   6 ) Jay Ajayi (MIA)   7 ) Ty Montgomery (GB)   8 ) Dalvin Cook (MIN)   9 ) Devonta Freeman (ATL)   10 ) Todd Gurley (LAR)   11 ) Marshawn Lynch (OAK)   12 ) Mike Gillislee (NE)   13 ) Leonard Fournette (JAC)   14 ) DeMarco Murray (TEN)   15 ) Jordan Howard (CHI)   16 ) Christian McCaffrey (CAR)   17 ) Jacquizz Rodgers (TB)   18 ) Isaiah Crowell (CLE)   19 ) CJ Anderson (DEN)   20 ) Tarik Cohen (CHI)   21 ) Lamar Miller (HOU)   22 ) Mark Ingram (NO)   23 ) Bilal Powell (NYJ)   24 ) James White (NE)   25 ) Terrance West (BAL)   26 ) Jonathan Stewart (CAR)   27 ) Tevin Coleman (ATL)   28 ) Javorious Allen (BAL)   29 ) Thomas Rawls (SEA)   30 ) Carlos Hyde (SF)   31 ) Kerwynn Williams (ARI)   32 ) Robert Kelley (WAS)   33 ) Theo Riddick (DET)   34 ) LeGarrette Blount (PHI)   35 ) Ameer Abdullah (DET)   36 ) Alvin Kamara (NO)   37 ) Joe Mixon (CIN)   38 ) Jeremy Hill (CIN)   39 ) Adrian Peterson (NO)   40 ) Frank Gore (IND)   Top-50 Wide Receivers   1 ) Julio Jones (ATL)   2 ) Jordy Nelson (GB)   3 ) Mike Evans (TB)   4 ) Antonio Brown (PIT)   5 ) Amari Cooper (OAK)   6 ) Brandin Cooks (NE)   7 ) AJ Green (CIN)   8 ) Odell Beckham Jr. (NYG)   9 ) Keenan Allen (LAC)   10 ) Michael Thomas (NO)   11 ) Tyreek Hill (KC)   12 ) Doug Baldwin (SEA)   13 ) DeAndre Hopkins (HOU)   14 ) Larry Fitzgerald (ARI)   15 ) Demaryius Thomas (DEN)   16 ) Golden Tate (DET)   17 ) Stefon Diggs (MIN)   18 ) Michael Crabtree (OAK)   19 ) Dez Bryant (DAL)   20 ) Martavis Bryant (PIT)   21 ) Davante Adams (GB)   22 ) Devante Parker (MIA)   23 ) Kelvin Benjamin (CAR)   24 ) Terrelle Pryor (WAS)   25 ) Jeremy Maclin (BAL)   26 ) Adam Thielen (MIN)   27 ) Randall Cobb (GB)   28 ) DeSean Jackson (TB)   29 ) Alshon Jeffery (PHI)   30 ) Danny Amendola (NE)   31 ) Cooper Kupp (LAR)   32 ) Sammy Watkins (LAR)   33 ) Tyrell Williams (LAC)   34 ) Jarvis Landry (MIA)   35 ) Corey Coleman (CLE)   36 ) Corey Davis (TEN)   37 ) Jamison Crowder (WAS)   38 ) Emmanuel Sanders (DEN)   39 ) Pierre Garcon (SF)   40 ) TY Hilton (IND)   41 ) Ted Ginn (IND)   42 ) Chris Hogan (NE)   43 ) Eric Decker (TEN)   44 ) John Brown (ARI)   45 ) Nelson Agholor (PHI)   46 ) Kenny Golladay (DET)   47 ) Allen Hurns (JAC)   48 ) Rishard Matthews (TEN)   49 ) Paul Richardson (SEA)   50 ) Brandon Marshall (NYG)   Top-20 Tight Ends   1 ) Rob Gronkowski (NE)   2 ) Zach Ertz (PHI)   3 ) Jordan Reed (WAS)   4 ) Greg Olsen (CAR)   5 ) Travis Kelce (KC)   6 ) Martellus Bennett (GB)   7 ) Delanie Walker (TEN)   8 ) Jimmy Graham (SEA)   9 ) Kyle Rudolph (MIN)   10 ) Charles Clay (BUF)   11 ) Tyler Eifert (CIN)   12 ) Jared Cook (OAK)   13 ) Austin Hooper (ATL)   14 ) Jason Witten (DAL)   15 ) Julius Thomas (MIA)   16 ) Hunter Henry (LAC)   17 ) Coby Fleener (NO)   18 ) Benjamin Watson (BAL)   19 ) Cameron Brate (TB)   20 ) Zach Miller (CHI)   Top-15 Defenses   1 ) Seattle   2 ) Arizona   3 ) Baltimore   4 ) Oakland   5 ) Carolina   6 ) Houston   7 ) Denver   8 ) Pittsburgh   9 ) Los Angeles Rams   10 ) Philadelphia   11 ) Cincinnati   12 ) Jacksonville   13 ) Kansas City   14 ) New York Giants   15 ) Tampa Bay   Top-15 Kickers   1 ) Justin Tucker (BAL)   2 ) Stephen Gostkowski (NE)   3 ) Matt Bryant (ATL)   4 ) Giorgio Tavecchio (OAK)   5 ) Will Lutz (NO)   6 ) Blair Walsh (SEA)   7 ) Dan Bailey (DAL)   8 ) Mason Crosby (GB)   9 ) Cairo Santos (KC)   10 ) Graham Gano (CAR)   11 ) Younghoe Koo (LAC)   12 ) Brandon McManus (DEN)   13 ) Matt Prater (DET)   14 ) Dustin Hopkins (WAS)   15 ) Chris Boswell (PIT)  

Survivor: Game Changers Episode 4 Fantasy Recap

Just when you think you’ve seen it all from the good people who give us Survivor, they pump out another classic episode.  Just when you think Sandra can’t possibly last another week and her game play can’t possibly impress us anymore, she does.  Just when you think Debbie could not possibly be any crazier, she is.  Just when you think JT couldn’t possibly be that stupid, he is. Hope you enjoy our Survivor: Game Changers Episode 4 Fantasy Recap as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Nuku – Night 11

In the aftermath of the insane multi-tribe tribal council that ended Episode 3, The Queen (Sandra) immediately suspects (correctly) that JT betrayed Nuku, because why else would Tai give Sierra the idol?  As it turns out, JT thought ratting to Brad was an easy opportunity to get rid of Sandra, but the queen doesn’t go down like that and instead Malcolm got voted off.  JT does the only thing someone in his position can do on Survivor in response to these extremely well-founded allegations: Lie his arse off.

Nuku – Day 12

The sun rises on the fractured Nuku tribe on Day 12.  Now, JT is a card carrying idiot, but he knows he is the bottom man, so he needs an idol and he needs one bad.  He runs off searching while we see the obligatory snake slithering up a tree.  He finds a clue (+1) seemingly right away, which makes you wonder why people aren’t looking for idols constantly—the find rate seems to be about 80% when they are actively searched for.  JT follows the clue, starts digging, and finds an idol (+3).  His position has improved vastly.

Reward Challenge

The tribes come in and Tavua gets to first look baffled by Mana’s intactness and then look all shocked by Malcolm’s absence from Nuku.  This reward is an obstacle course that consists of grappling hooks, digging stuff up, balancing a ball on a bow while walking on a balance beam,  then doing it all again, eventually balancing a ball on a little stand, and then solving a puzzle.  The first two tribes to finish win reward. First place gets peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, cookies, and milk.  Second place just gets sandwiches.  Last place gets jack shit.

Zeke tells his Tavua tribemates he is great at slide puzzles because he does them all the time on his phone—exactly the type of confidence you’re looking for heading into a multi-faceted challenge like this.

Mana appears to catch a much-needed break as Debbie proudly announces to her tribemates that she has “great balance” and is assigned to the balance beam, which would seem like a great fit for someone who is advertising that they have superior balance.  Yes sir, things look like they are about to go Mana’s way.  In fact, I don’t see any way they could screw this up unless Debbie is overestimating her abilities in some way.  But with all the training she’s had, that seems highly unlikely.

The challenge itself is fast and furious, with a few noteworthy aspects to report:

  • Balancing a ball on a bow while walking across a balance beam looks extremely hard… unless you are Ozzy, who glides through it and makes it look easier than a normal person walking on flat land. Hali and JT struggle (understandably) for their tribes, but they both make it through—Hali in 2nd and JT in a close 3rd.
  • Michaela is the undisputed queen of digging up stuff, keeping Nuku in the challenge. Seriously, her digging is second to none.  You know who that character on Saturday Night Live Mr. Peepers would eat an apple?  Well that’s how Michaela digs.
  • In contrast, Cirie is a pretty lousy digger for Tavua and as a result Mana actually takes the lead briefly.
  • As it turns out, what Debbie meant when she said she had great balance was that she has terrible balance. She is totally inept at this and cannot keep her ball balanced on the little stand thing she is holding for more than a few seconds—much less traverse a balance beam while doing so.
  • Andrea, in stark contrast to Debbie, flies through this section for Tavua effectively putting to rest any notion that this part of the challenge is impossible. Aubry, not exactly known for her balance or grace, follows suit and finishes it also.
  • Zeke, unlike Debbie, is actually good at what he claimed to be good at and finishes the slide puzzle. This wins reward for Tavua (+1 for each member).
  • Debbie, after failing like a hundred times, says the ball and platform are “too slippery”. For some reason, the producers do not bring out a “less slippery” ball and platform for Debbie to use.
  • Sandra also proves herself to be a good puzzle solver and finishes for Nuku (+1 for each member). This was clutch, but it is worth noting that she had literally unlimited time to complete the puzzle, as Debbie would not have completed the balance part of the challenge for Mana if the beam were 6 feet wide and she could just carry the ball in her hand.
  • For some reason, Jeff Probst does not give Debbie hell for her utter and total failure or excuse making. If it were Jeff Varner failing, you better believe Probst would’ve been all up in his grill.  Possibly he senses that Debbie is on the verge of a psychotic meltdown and decides to keep his distance, telling the producers to get the tranquilizer guns ready just in case.

After the challenge, Debbie tells the camera that her tribe is a dictatorship and Brad just tells people what to do and she is pissed about it.  It actually seems like she is somehow blaming Brad for the loss in this challenge which does not add up even a little bit.  She specifically bragged that she had great balance so whether or not Brad is a dictator does not seem to be relevant.  I get the distinct impression this is not the last we will be hearing about this.

Tavua – Day 12

Tavua eats their reward.  They are really happy and smug because they are on a roll.  Sarah talks to Troyzan who seems to have a gigantic bulge in his shorts.  This is either the hidden idol he found or an absolutely massive hog he’s been lugging around down there.  She tells him she wants to look for an idol and wants his support moving forward.  He says sure.

Mana – Day 12

Debbie is storming around the beach like a lunatic at the Mana camp.  Someone asks her what’s up or something normal like that.  She throws her years of training out the window and responds by screaming, “why don’t the four of you talk and then vote me off?”  They ask her if she’s ok and she’s like, “Yeah!  I’m fine!”  But she is about as far from fine as someone could be without being locked in a padded room and put under 24/7 observation—and I’ll bet if there was an insane asylum on the island, they’d be getting a room ready for her.

Debbie, despite all her training, finally goes batshit crazy

I would be the first one to criticize Brad, but Debbie has absolutely zero legs to stand on.  She actually starts screaming about how Hali blew the challenge—she legitimately seems to have convinced herself that she did really well in the challenge and Hali failed miserably which is essentially the opposite of what took place.  Again, I must reiterate that Debbie’s team was winning when she started and literally never got to the finally part of the challenge because she was so bad at her part—which she claimed she was great at before the thing started.  This is nothing short of a complete psychotic breakdown.

She is just screaming at Tai about how Brad (who has been totally polite through all this I have to admit) gives her no respect.  “NONE!!!!!!!”  She shouts, her face bulging out repulsively.  She starts yelling about how Hali cost them peanut butter and jelly (what?).   She announces that she is going to get it out in her workout, which is why she looks “like this” (I assume she means like an escaped mental patient) and “has an 8 pack”.  She says she doesn’t get mad, which is odd because she is FURIOUS.  She’ll be rational and sensible, she says.

Brad goes over and apologizes (for what I don’t know) I guess to try to keep the peace.  She tells him he’s a dictator and she was loyal to then screams, “AND YOU CRUSHED MY HEART!!!”

No one has any idea what to do at this point.  Other than Russell Hantz’s nephew, this is the only time I can recall someone literally completely losing touch with reality on the show.  Sure, Coach was crazy.  But this is way different.

Nuku – Day 13

JT says he thinks Michaela is “starting to lose her bearings a little” because she asks for 7 drips of coffee and a spoonful of sugar to drink.  This is redneck-speak for “I don’t want to get voted off myself, so I am going to suggest to everyone that the black lady is losing her mind”.  Sandra tells Varner on the sly that she plans to finish the sugar so Michaela and JT will each think the other one did it and go at each other.  Varner thinks it’s a hilarious idea and he’s absolutely right.  Michaela and JT both totally think each other ate all the sugar, but in fact Sandra ate it all just to piss them off.  Now, Michaela hates JT so much.  Sandra is an absolute puppet master—playing chess while the rest of them play ball-in-a-cup.

Mana – Day 13

Tai is freaked out by Debbie (of course).  To soothe himself, he decides to go look for another idol.  Tai finds another clue (+1) but does not go searching for the actual idol yet.

Immunity Challenge

The gist of this challenge is that they will go over a tall wall, roll a massive wooden cube, unwind some keys, unlock some sandbags, and use a slingshot to hit 5 targets.  First two tribes to finish will both win immunity.  Cirie sits out for Tavua to make the teams even.

Mana tries to decide who is going to do what in the challenge like normal people would do.  The balance part is a point of contention as far as whether Debbie or Tai should do it.  Debbie, having decided that she not only didn’t do a terrible job balancing during the reward challenge but maybe even did it better than anyone has ever done it, is like “I took gymnastics for 10 years” and references how bad Hali was (which she wasn’t).  Then Debbie announces she’s not doing it and it was her decision, so there.

It is about dead even through the cube part.  Debbie is yelling to Brad about how she was the  first one over the wall, which may or not be true and wouldn’t mean anything at all if it were true.  As they get to the balance part, Michaela and Varner are slightly ahead for Nuku.  They have to transport 100 sandbags across the beams.  Tai is on the beam along with Hali for Mana and it seems like they’re doing fine.  Debbie is just screaming, “oh I’m so glad we didn’t use the gymnast for this!”  (Keep in mind she specifically said she wouldn’t do it.)  Brad is not saying anything back which I’ll bet was really tough.

Ozzy is shooting slingshots for Tavua, who are dominating as usual.  Mana finishes and then Nuku, and now everyone is shooting.  Sierra starts hitting targets for Mana.  Sarah and JT follow suit.  Brad comes in for Mana and knocks another down, then another, then he knocks down the 5th and wins it for Mana (+3 for each member).  JT knocks down another, tying it up 3-3 with Ozzy.   It goes to 4-4 and JT shoots for the win and misses.  Ozzy hits for Tavua and wins immunity for his team (+3 for each member).

Nuku – Day 13

JT is lobbying for his life—he tells everyone thinks Michaela should go.  He references Michaela stealing the sugar.  Sandra laughs and calls it sugar-napping, playfully being buddy-buddy with JT which he is totally buying because he is a moron.

Sandra now goes and talks to Michaela about getting rid of JT.  Then she talks to Varner and asks if they should take him out.  He brings up the possibility of JT having an idol and Sandra kind of thinks on it as we head to tribal.

Tribal Council

Sandra mentions immediately that someone leaked a name at the last tribal to Brad giving JT a little hell.  Michaela says JT thinks he’s running shit all the time at camp.  Sandra fans the flames about the sugar she stole, pitting Michaela and JT squarely against each other again.  Sandra basically comes out and says JT is going to stay because he is their strongest player.  JT is totally buying this and says they’re tired of babysitting (Michaela).  Aubry (who is clearly not in on what I suspect is about to happen) says she’s tired of Michaela too.  JT says someone (Michaela) is just fillin’ space.  It really seems like they’re selling JT on the fact they’re voting out Michaela.  If Michaela is in on it, she and Sandra have played this masterfully.

JT does NOT play his immunity idol that he just found for this very purpose, which is a super dumb non-move for someone who got caught betraying the tribe last episode.  As Jeff Probst goes to read the votes, Michaela takes out a coffee cup and starts sipping super casually the whole time.  This should be a huge indicator to anyone paying attention that she does not think she is in trouble at all—which should really concern JT and Aubry because five minutes ago she was acting like she knew she was going home.

Michaela gets two votes (-2) from JT and AubryJT, who DID NOT EVEN BRING THE IDOL TO TRIBAL COUNCIL gets the other three and gets sent the fuck home (-5) which he deserves because he has got to be the stupidest person ever to win Survivor.  Sandra, who is literally dripping with overconfidence because she is clearly the greatest Survivor ever, announces that she is the one who ate the sugar and they all (except Aubry) have a good laugh at JT’s expense.

Survivor continues to bring the heat every week.  Thursday through Tuesday really suck.

If you enjoyed this

Fantasy Scoring Breakdown

Andrea: 4 points (immunity, reward)

Aubry: 1 point (reward)

Brad: 3 points (immunity—should have gotten points for not punching Debbie)

Cirie: 4 points (immunity, reward)

Debbie: 3 points (immunity)

Hali: 3 points (immunity)

JT: 0 points (reward, idol clue, found idol, got voted off)

Jeff Varner: 1 point (reward)

Michaela: -1 point (reward, 2 votes cast against her)

Ozzy: 4 points (immunity, reward)

Sandra: 1 point (reward)

Sarah: 4 points (immunity, reward)

Sierra: 3 points (immunity)

Tai: 4 points (immunity, idol clue)

Troyzan: 4 points (immunity, reward)

Zeke: 4 points (immunity, reward)


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